Atawhai: Reaching for the stars
When Tainui Live broadcaster Atawhai Edwards decided to take on the Great Wall of China Marathon, nothing was going to stop her – not money, not fitness, not doubters.
Atawhai’s Chinese characters say “Pōhara” – it’s the name of her marae, as well as her son Ihaia’s middle name. “It means poor but it also means humility. It’s a reminder to live life with humility.”
A former Kyokushin Karate world champion, Atawhai was used to aiming high physically and pushing herself to achieve distant goals. Then everything changed with the heartbreak of a broken relationship.
Atawhai, who is of Tainui, Cook Island, and Pākehā descent, says, “I turned to my family, and when I turned to them there was a lot of love there and a lot of food. Both Māori and Cook Islanders, they love their food ... Big families, big feeds, big hearts. We try and help those uncontrollable situations with food because we can control food and we know it’ll make the people we love happy. I just ate and ate because my heart was broken, and it took me ages to realise I was emotionally eating. It was my mum who sat me down and told me I was still grieving.”
Atawhai says that, eventually, “I got to a point in my life where I felt like – I need to do more. I was at my heaviest at 120kg. And then that opportunity came. One of my friends, Cheryl Matenga, signed up to do the Great Wall Marathon.” Cheryl was going with Albatros Adventure marathons, a company that takes tour groups to some of the most spectacular and gruelling marathons in the world. “She was telling me about it, and I was sitting there thinking, that’d be a cool opportunity …”
Suddenly, the old Atawhai was back. Next thing, she was signing up as well. “I just thought – I can do this. So I signed up, but I didn’t tell anyone. I’d decided it in myself and I thought, you know what? No one’s going to sway me. I was 120kg. I’d never run a marathon before, even at my fittest. That opportunity came up, and I thought, I can do this. I always let other people’s opinions get to me. So I was like, no one’s going to know. No one’s going to shake me. I only had 12 weeks to train for it at 120kg, and to prep and get the $6,000 I needed to go. But I just decided: I’m going to do this.”
Only once her sign-up was confirmed did she tell people. “As expected, all the waves started coming in. You know, people saying you’ve never run a marathon in your life, what are you doing?” But Atawhai had prepared herself. “I knew that stuff was going to come, and I was like, I’m not going to be swayed. I had to show myself that I could do it.”
The Hakarimata at midnight
Atawhai knew a lot of people who were fundraising to go to Te Matatini, the national kapa haka competition, by walking or running up and down the Hakarimata – an hour-long walk in Ngāruawāhia. “I thought, I’m gonna up the stakes. I decided I was going to run from Hamilton to Ngāruawāhia, and then up and down the Hakarimata. And then I ended up deciding that I wanted to do it at midnight, because of the insecurities of being big. I didn’t want to run during the daytime.
“So I did it at midnight and, fortunately, I had some crazy family and friends that wanted to do it with me. They came and supported me, and we ran in the middle of the night from Hamilton to Ngāruawāhia.
“My cousin followed me in the car. She was playing some music, and we just ran, walked, ran, walked all the way to the Hakarimata. My son and my nephew were in the car sleeping, but as soon as we got to the Hakarimata they wanted to come up with us.
“We got to the top of the Hakarimata and did karakia, looking at the stars. And in that moment, we were just lying there, tired as, looking up at the stars, and I was like, I can do this.
“My family always roll their eyes at me. They’re like, oh, Atawhai has another bright idea … But I always do it. I love a challenge.”
Sure enough, 12 weeks later, she had raised the money she needed and increased her fitness enough that she felt ready.
The Great Wall
Atawhai with the Terracotta Army in China, after beginning her fitness journey with the Great Wall Marathon in the year of its 20th anniversary.
The 42km Great Wall Marathon started in 1999 and is known as one of the world’s most challenging marathons – as well as one of its most exciting. “The history of the wall is something else,” says Atawhai. “The wairua there. It’s just ancient. I love history. It shapes us. It makes us who we are.”
People had gathered from around the world for the marathon, and Atawhai was asked to kōrero before they all began. “I got up in front of everyone, and I could feel our ancestors and their ancestors coming together. I did a kāranga and I mihi’d to all the ancestors that were there, because they were people from all over the world. You could feel the spirits, and the wairua was beautiful.
“So we did a kāranga, acknowledged everyone there, did a little kōrero, and then our group did our haka. I thought – what better way to start this event? Just the marathon alone was an opportunity, but to be able to get up there and share our culture to the world. Having that opportunity was absolutely humbling.” She still feels like crying when she thinks about it.
“And because I was 120kg and a lot of people doubted me, I stood there as me. I thought I did it. I’m here.
“I wore my marae T-shirt, and everywhere I went I carried my family with me. I carried my ancestors with me. I carried my son with me.”
After the marathon, Atawhai and her friends explored the city, and, although they only were in China for a total of 10 days, they all felt so connected to the experience that they got tattoos together in a small tattoo shop. Atawhai’s Chinese characters say “Pōhara” It’s the name of her marae, as well as her son Ihaia’s middle name. “It means poor but it also means humility. It’s a reminder to live life with humility.”
Atawhai says the whole experience was one that will stay with her forever.
“Honestly, I would encourage anyone to go into a marathon with Albatros Tours – or any marathon.”
Ways towards health
Atawhai's often asked for advice. “It’s been a journey. I’ve lost so much weight and people are like, what do you do? What’s the secret? It’s not one answer. It’s a lot of answers.”
“When I got back,” says Atawhai, “everyone was so proud of me. And now some of my whānau are trying to find avenues to better their health.”
She’s glad, because whānau health preys on her mind all the time. “I think of my koro who died from diabetes, or, at least, diabetes started his issues. And I think of how much I miss him. We’ve all got family members that we’ve lost to diabetes.
“And I look at family members who are selflessly helping others and not looking after themselves.
In a Māori or Pacific Island society, you need to look after everyone else because that’s what makes you feel good.But sometimes you exert all that energy and that love to everyone else, and then there’s no more for you.”
She’s often asked for advice. “It’s been a journey. I’ve lost so much weight, and people are like, what do you do? What’s the secret? It’s not one answer. It’s a lot of answers.
“In terms of eating, I pretty much eat 30% of what I used to. Before, with one meal, I’d have about five or six pieces of bread, thinking that’s normal. But it wasn’t normal and it wasn’t okay because it didn’t serve me. It didn’t serve my body.
“So I started with five pieces of bread, and then I went to four, and I just slowly broke it down. And now, even with a burger, I’ll have one burger and I’ll go, I’m just going to have half. And I’ll give half to my cousin or my sister. So I started halving my food. I’d go to McDonald’s, and I’d just have half the chips. I knew I could do that – just start cutting everything in half. And now I can control what I eat, and I listen to my body.”
The way she feeds her son has changed as well. “He’s taking it on board quite easily. I’m grateful. He doesn’t complain much.It’s me that does the complaining!
“One big thing that I always tell people is – you don’t have to ‘start on a Monday’. Sometimes people are on a health buzz, and, come Wednesday, they slip. Then they always say, “I’m going to jump back on the health buzz on Monday.” You know, eat the bad foods and start again on Monday. That’s probably the worst habit.
“I say to people, just start again on your next kai, your next feed.
“And always break your goals down, because otherwise it gets overwhelming and it’s not realistic, and then we lose the belief in ourselves because we didn’t do it.”
She also says to make sure you’re ready for negative feedback. “There’ll always be doubters. There’ll always be haters. It’s just life. But just don’t be the doubter yourself. Don’t be the hater. And get yourself ready for it.”
She says, ultimately, “It all comes down to believing in yourself. Believe in yourself because by believing in yourself you believe in all those that have passed on before you. Know that they’ll never let you down. That’s what’s helped me. Because everyone around us can let us down in different ways: our family, our friends … sometimes they’re the ones who contribute to the negative – but we can control that.”
What next?
Atawhai has now set her sights on bodybuilding, signing up for a 16-week challenge.
“I have stretch marks all over. Do I care? No. And I know people will come at me with the negative comments, because that’s life. I know people are going to try and sway me. But I’ve decided. I’ve signed up. I’m doing it.
“At the moment, I look at bodybuilders, and I can only imagine how much hard yakka it is … To get up on the stage half naked and just exude your hard work. And you see those people, and you think: wow, they did it. I wonder what their story is. I wonder what gave them the confidence to stand there and believe in themselves.
“Matariki’s coming up, and I have some more plans in my head that I haven’t shared with anyone. I have some bright ideas coming in, and I’m so excited for them. Because once I’ve decided I’m going to do something, I do it. All I look for after that is support, not doubt.”
This story was first shared in the Winter 2021 issue of Diabetes Wellness. Got a story of your own to share? Get in touch editor@diabetes.org.nz
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